clean

but it’s never that easy

my body craves what it misses

constantly tense

constantly gripped with fear

fear of slipping

fear of not being strong enough

fear of no control

everyday is a battle

i long for the night when i lay down my head and my brain can stop

stop thinking of temptation

stop thinking of the past

stop my imagination from creating things i know won’t last

but then there are moments

these simple moments

this tiny glimpse of truth

brief

but that’s all i need

the truth

the truth that set me free

one cross that’s all it took

one Man who took it all

one love that stands tall

for the broken

for the oppressed

for the eighty year old

and for the child who is fatherless

He stopped the lies that say

i’m not good enough

i can do this on my own

i don’t need God

i can fight this alone

but the shame consumes me still

until

i remember His last breath

“It Is Finished”

and with that He paid my debt

so how can i believe the lies

that i’m not good enough

that i have to be afraid to live

i wasn’t created to fear life

but to embrace the hope

that one day i might

tear down the walls and choose to fight

fight with the Man who arrested my death

to bring the hope to those who are just like me

the scarred, the weary, the broken and ashamed

to bring the good news

that Jesus changed…

Everything.